shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
