So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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