K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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