I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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