I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
