After last night, I could never be a politician.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize
