i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Too much gin, very little bucket
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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