he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
