White coat. Heels.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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