not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
