I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
