You're so nebulous sometimes
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
