i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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