I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
