Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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