There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
