Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
What did we do last night that was yellow?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
