Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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