Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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