You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got carded by a ten year old.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize