Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize