Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
