im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
