Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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