i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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