he shaved USA in his pubs
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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