you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Watching her eat just hurts me
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
