Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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