I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
