So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
mondays should just be called national damage control day
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Randomize
