Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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