i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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