Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
