So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
