Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
