Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
