i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
