Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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