I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
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I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
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Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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