He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
