I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
