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• (712): View more from Iowa

  You should dream of me :)

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm going to dream of single life.

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• (516): View more from New York

  Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.

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• (518): View more from New York

  I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.

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  27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (804): View more from Virginia

  my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.

  (1-804): View more from Virginia

  I'm on my way.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty

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• (941): View more from Florida

  I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.

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• (909): View more from California

  Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.

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  23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (347): View more from New York

  Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta

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• (641): View more from Iowa

  IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr

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• (209): View more from California

  I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.

  (209): View more from California

  Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.

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