Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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