he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
