she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
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Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
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I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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