I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
i think i just lost a toe
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
