wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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