My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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