put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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