it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
