She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
