broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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