I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
