I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
