it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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