i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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