I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
