my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
NoShamevember. You game?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize