You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
