cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
